Tuesday 29 June 2010

From elephants to sharks (via some crap football!)

Well I'm now in Simon's Town (2 separate words I think), about 50k (I think!) south of Cape Town (definitely 2 separate words) preparing for my shark trip - eeeek! By asking some random people in the street, I managed to find an internet cafe, which for once really is a cafe with internet access. Actually it's an Italian restaurant and they've stuck me in the corner next to a high chair and the fire hose and I'm on someone's laptop with the Paraguay v Japan game on in the background. It's not exactly 10/10 in the ergonomic stakes and Health & Safety would have a fit, but needs must. Incidentally when I Googled 'Sally does South Africa' to find my blog, 'Sally does Dallas' came up automatically in the history. Hmmmmmmm...

I arrived last night in the dark, so have been waiting to venture out of the gorgeous apartment I've been booked into by the shark people - 4 ensuite bedrooms, very plush, overlooking the bay (which I couldn't see this morning), a billion TV channels including the Hairy Bikers (hahahaaaa!) and only me staying in it, yay! - to explore Simon's Town and get my bearings. I was meant to be on a shark dive this morning, but it was cancelled due to gale force winds and I ended up imprisoned in the apartment by another tropical storm. Made it out the front door and about 50 yards up the road in horizontal rain before I realised it was pointless going any further. So I turned around, changed out of my 'waterproof' coat - which clearly wasn't - and ordered a taxi. Georgie, the driver, said to me "give me 5 minutes. I've just got to get the penguin out from under the car and I'll be right with you". And she wasn't joking, hahahahaaaaaa! If Brighton Streamline ever try using that one on me... So I've just popped into the Apex shop, the shark company I'm diving with, to let them know I'm here and ready & raring to go. Managed to spend 150 quid in one fell swoop on great white shark stuff. While I was there tomorrow's trip was confirmed so I get picked up at 6.45am and dropped at the harbour - aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhh!!!! And now I'm officially sh*tting myself (sorry mum). I remember feeling like this the last time, but I know I'll love every minute of it - think I'm more scared of the cold water than the 4m great whites out there... Anyway, I'll fill you in on the last 7 days - if I can actually remember what I've been up to.

Tuesday 22nd June: left Falcon's View in Knysna and decided to stop off at the Elephant Park which was en route to Port Elizabeth (PE). But not before an unscheduled drive through a small township on the outskirts of Knysna!! I think the plan had been to visit a waterfall near the coast and Ali had programmed something into the sat nav to take us there. Unfortunately the sat nav had other ideas and took us through a township and a maze of dirt-tracks, complete with lots of black people looking at the silly white people who had so obviously taken a wrong turn!! We managed to find our way out of it (with Liz, Mark and Michael following us in the other car) and just smiled at everyone at the side of the road as we went past - they were all waving at us and I couldn't stop laughing and waving back. I don't think they'd seen many white people in their neck of the woods and we must've provided some entertainment as we drove past the same groups of people about 5 times, hahahaaaaaa! Anyway, once we got to the elephant park we took a short trailor ride out to the middle of the park and fed the elephants loads of carrots - a bizarre experience, but a good one. They're so HUGE though and I was a little bit wary of them. Think I was more scared of the elephants than the township experience. One of the bigger ones took a liking to my chest (I think it must've been the way I was holding my carrots!) and frightened the life out of me with its trunk. After tearing Liz away from the elephants we carried on along the coast, driving into Eastern Cape province and stopping at Tsitsikamma National Park. Decided to take the cliff walk to the suspension bridge, which was about 1km of steps up and down and played havoc with my knees. Well worth it though as when we got to the end we spotted a pod of southern right whales out to sea - you could just see them in the distance when they surfaced. We could make out at least 4 from the water coming from their blowholes and we saw them breach a couple of times - hard to tear ourselves away. The landscape there reminded me of great white shark country too. Can't wait... Finally arrived in Port Elizabeth in the dark and in the pouring rain so we had a bit of trouble finding our B&B. Dumped our bags and went straight out for dinner at Mike's Kitchen. We all ate so much food it was embarrassing!!! I did manage to eat something green though, as well as sinking a large bottle of JC Le Roux (the local cava) by myself. Had a call from Spurs Mark while we were there - he'd just flown in from Cape Town - and he ended up joining us for a drink. Called a cab to take us home, but the driver never turned up so John, the owner of Mike's (work that one out) offered to drive us back, about 20km out of his way! People are so friendly over here. I can't imagine that happening at home. So a funny, but bloody cold, night all round.

Wednesday 23rd June: had breakfast at the boys' B&B and got a taxi to the Boardwalk in PE with Keith the driver, who gave us a guided tour on the way - in competition with the taxi office at full blast on the radio, a Beegees cd and a very broad accent. Sat in the sun outside the casino and had a couple of glasses of wine to calm my pre-match nerves. Bumped into Kev and Tone, West Ham fans who I'd met in Japan in 2002 - they looked exactly the same - and reminisced about the karaoke bar where we'd all met. Spurs Mark joined us for a beer and we all set off for the match. Stood about 4 rows from the front near the corner flag so had a cracking view of the game, which we went on to win - thank god. Heard that USA scored a late winner in their game though, so that threw all our travel plans into disarray as we now finish second on goals scored and face Germany. Typical americans! Went for a curry on the way back to the Boardwalk and they were playing the Saturday Night Fever cd - more Beegees, hahahaaaaa! Had a farewell drink with Spurs Mark who is flying home tomorrow.

Thursday 24th June: had breakfast at Apron Strings B&B again and discussed our Plan Bs which we'd all had to put in place after finishing second in the group. I had a flight booked from Joburg to Cape Town for my shark trip, which I would have to delay by a day, but would need to stop off in Bloemfontein for the next round game v Germany. The boys and Liz were driving that way anyway so I decided to stay with them and go by car. A few phonecalls to Bill our hero travel agent in England and he was on the case with accommodation. Set off quite early for Smithfield, an arty town about 100km south of Bloemfontein, where Bill booked us all in for 3 nights. Think I must've fallen asleep again in the back of the car (Clarence Seedorf??!! - it's a long story) as I can't remember much of the journey. I do remember putting on my red jumper which I'd last worn in Knysna, only to find elephant snot down my left boob. Nice. And a first (it's ok, I managed to scrape it off and it's now in the washing machine in Simon's Town!). We arrived in Smithfield just as the sun was setting so the owners, Linda and Peter (an artist), made us a pot of tea which we drank outside on the veranda in short sleeves. Until the sun went down and the temperature dropped to something like -2 and I almost froze on the spot. At this point Linda told us that we all had electric blankets on our beds, hurrahh!! Peter put the fire on in the living room and we watched the Italians get knocked out by Slovakia (my sweep team, hurrah!) over a glass or two of white wine (or "waaaaahhhht waaaaaaahhhhhne" as me & Kev have taken to calling it, hahahaahaaaa!). Had dinner at Pigout, a local restaurant about 5 minutes (freezing cold) walk away - a lovely place, run by Henk (a great host and a UFO enthusiast!) and Lynette (a great cook). Ate lots, drank lots, sat by the fire, played with the dogs & mad cat and watched the football. A good evening all round. Had a cryptic message from Spurs Mark to say he'd see me in Bloem - confused as he was meant to be going home...

Friday 25th June: awoke around 1.00am to the smell of burning flesh where I'd left my electric blanket on full power, hahahaaaaaa! Leapt out of bed to cool off and eventually had a really good sleep. Had a cracking full breakfast, packed our bags and moved about 100 yards down the road to Smithfield House where we were due to spend the next 2 nights (unfortunately Linda and Peter were filling up with church folk...). Met our hosts, Ann and Geoff, both in their 80s and both artists. I can't describe them, but they were fantastic - on a par with Terence & John at Quiet Mountain, but obviously straight. Geoff had so many stories to tell and was so plummie. He's from Rhodesia, not Zimbabwe ("they keep changing the bloody names, I don't know where these places are any more! There's a place called Polokwane and I've never bloody heard of it!"). We decided to drive off to Geriep (pronounced Harreep with a rolling R - we had problems with it) to see the dam and the nature reserve, which was a surprise when we got there. We paid about a pound each to drive through a huge expanse of nothing, then turned a corner and saw ostrich, wildebeast, zebra, some kind of antelope, kudu and mongoose. Talk about value for money - I got my safari after all! Drove back to Smithfield and Ann made us tea on the veranda. Got changed for dinner (adding about 20 layers of clothing in preparation for the walk) and Geoff poured us all a glass of wine which we drank by the fire in the drawing room whilst listening to his stories - we could've stayed there for hours, but we were booked in for dinner at Luigi's on the "High Street" of the sprawling metropolis that is Smithfield! Had a few drinks in the bar beforehand and got chatting to a couple of Carlisle fans who were also making their way to Bloem for the match. Had one of the best steaks I've ever had, followed by pudding and more wine... All sorts of people started drifting into the bar and I got chatting to a local sheep farmer who said he'd been kite surfing in Brighton (do they do kite surfing in Brighton?!). He offered to buy us all drinks, but we had to get back so turned down the offer - I don't think I've ever done that, but I did. Honest! Also had a phone call from Spurs Mark to say he was in Joburg and hadn't gone home, hahahaaaaa! He's got World Cup Fever and is doing what I did when I was in Japan - I think I extended my flight about 3 times when I was there.

Saturday 26th June: had another cracking breakfast, cooked by Geoff, who continued telling us stories while we were eating it. Had a chill-out day in Smithfield. Went the local museum and were given a great guided tour by Richard. We walked up the "High Street" and popped in to a couple of craft shops and galleries, all selling paintings by Peter, Ann and Geoff!! Wandered up to the old cemetery as there were war graves there from the Boer War, which we'd read lots about in the museum. There was a grave which had "SALLY" on it "born May 1871, died 1908" which freaked me out a bit as it was exactly 100 years before I was born. We think it may have been a horse. Walking back down the High Street we popped into the Factory Store, which we'd heard so much about. It really is a shop that sells everything - we went in there for Panini football stickers which were cheaper than at home, about 35p each! We spotted a load of people from the local township who were drinking outside the Smithfield Saloon, so we decided to go in for a drink (or were practically dragged in by one of the girls standing outside). The locals made us feel welcome and later told us that we were the first white people ever to go in there!!! Richard from the museum also popped in and wondered what we were doing in there! I was even asked for my name and phone number, hahahaaaaa! Lots of photos and a bottle of beer (70p each!) later we managed to get out and headed home. We decided not to tell Geoff that we'd been in the local shebeen... It was so hot when we got back that we all crashed out by the swimming pool in shorts & t-shirts (mad weather) and I dried my socks on the window sill (I'm all class). Geoff invited us into the drawing room again for more wine with him and the two jack russells before we ventured off to Pigout for dinner. Had ostrich tonight - lovely - then watched the football by the fire again. Ghana beat the USA (hurrah!) and I never had a chance to sell my match ticket...

Sunday 27th June (D-Day): got up early for breakfast with Geoff. He mentioned to the boys that Ann had taken a call from Richard (Museum and shebeen Richard) last night, inviting us to a party in the township, hahahahaaaaaa - Geoff must've had a fit! Talk about give the game away... Once we'd said goodbye to Ann & Geoff we drove straight to Bloemfontein and arrived by 11am. Checked into Spurs Mark's hotel as he's driving me to Joburg airport in the morning as Kev & Ali are going to drive straight to Cape Town, if we win. Made our way to the Waterfront and arranged to meet Mark as he didn't have a match ticket. Had a few drinks with the germans before the game and Mark got a ticket. Also bought t-shirts off a dodgy Italian bloke with the Three Lions badge and South Africa 2010 on it (I actually bought the shirt off his back as it was the smallest one he had! But it smelt a bit sweaty so I stuffed it in my handbag - maybe England lost because I wasn't wearing it...). Bumped into Jay and Phil from Crowborough. Walked to the ground and felt so confident before the game, wasn't nervous at all and thought that was a good sign. What a let-down. We all went mad when England scored their second goal (that wasn't) and I got covered in beer all down one side. All for nothing. England seemed to give up as soon as the Germans scored their third and the rest is history. I'm just glad it didn't go to penalties and glad they didn't put 5 past us. I clapped the team at the end, but the players weren't very quick in clapping the fans, so I'm a tad miffed. The walk back from the ground is all a bit of a blur. Went back to the Lodge with the boys and Liz to pick up my bag, then went for a bite to eat with Mark and headed home about 11pm I think... Die Keller, where we had dinner, was full of England and Germany fans, all getting drunk and singing together so there was no hassle and a pretty good atmosphere considering all the English were so p'd off!

Monday 28th June: got up early to pack, but both of us faffed about so didn't end up leaving Bloemfontein 'til 11am - about an hour later than planned! Drove straight to Joburg airport without stopping and just managed to get there, drop off the hire car and check-in with about 30 mins to spare before my 4pm flight to Cape Town. Said goodbye to Spurs Mark for the third time in a fortnight, but half expecting him to turn up again in Cape Town! Got picked up at the airport and had a guided tour of the bay en route to Simon's Town. Checked in to the apartment and met Kaye who had been on the same shark trip (that I should've been on) this morning. Sounded fab - she said she had at least 3 sharks circling the cage at one point, one of them 14 ft long. Unfortunately my trip tomorrow has been cancelled due to bad weather, but I've got potentially 5 days of sharks so hopefully I'll get to see some this week...

So that brings you up to date. Now I need to get back to the apartment (if Georgie can get the penguins out from under her car again), eat something and prepare myself for sharks! HURRRAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! :o)

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